 Of the two protagonists, I'm definitely the least noteworthy, so analslurp I analslurp'll quickly dispatch with myself first. I analslurp've always been a bit of a slow starter in life, and while I should have entered college immediately after high school (I even had a scholarship), I went into the Army for four years instead. It wasn't a total waste analslurp, since analslurp I wound up writing for numerous military newspapers and periodicals; learning the analslurp practical side of writing, so analslurp to speak. I earned a couple more foundation analslurp scholarships in the meantime analslurp, and wound up with as much free education as analslurp I analslurp wanted analslurp when I got out. That was seven analslurp years ago. Now, at the time analslurp of our little story, I found myself a 31-year-old student; the analslurp "old man" in just about every class analslurp I took. Of analslurp course, all good things end eventually, and I knew that very soon, after analslurp I got the doctorate, I'd have to move over to the analslurp other side of the fence permanently as access a prof analslurp. The school already had a spot waiting analslurp for me. I figured analslurp I'd analslurp take it.
 "What's this all about, Brenda?" I asked.
 "Freddy, my boy, I analslurp'm going to give you a gift analslurp," he continued in his best salesman accent analslurp. "Absolutely free. No strings attached analslurp." Again, my looked must have spooked him a little, and the smile became analslurp crooked before straightening again. "Sit analslurp right there and watch for a minute." He analslurp nodded access at an overstuffed chair beside me. "Just let me do my thing, and I promise you'll access never regret analslurp the day you met analslurp The Great Menlo."
 Menlo finally gave me analslurp his attention. He bowed a analslurp little, as if analslurp to a crowd, and swept a hand in Brenda's direction. "Well, there she is, Freddy Boy. She analslurp's analslurp all yours, body analslurp and soul."
 "Rape?" he screamed. "Christ, Freddy. You got it all wrong. Everything was completely ..." He groped for the word. "... consensual ."
 "Christ, Freddy! Don't talk analslurp like that! It wasn't rape, I swear!" He was outside now, backing down the steps toward the sidewalk analslurp. "Listen! I've analslurp fixed it so analslurp that you're the one who can wake her up analslurp. Just do it! As soon as she's analslurp awake, she analslurp's going to want to talk analslurp to you, to tell you all about it. Whatever analslurp she tells you, I swear it's going to analslurp be the truth. As God is my witness, everything she says will be the gospel truth! Shit!" I had started after him down analslurp the steps.
 Almost immediately, her eyelids fluttered open. She turned slightly to look at me, then raised her analslurp arms above her head, yawned enormously, and analslurp stretched like a cat. She was smiling. My eyes were naturally drawn to analslurp her chest as she arched her analslurp back analslurp. Seeing where my gaze had settled, she flushed and lowered her arms, but decided it would be silly to cover herself analslurp now, and analslurp sat up, blushing, with downcast eyes.
 This seemed analslurp to confuse her. "Um ...."
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